Dictionary

THINGY (thing-ee) n. For a female: Any part under a car?s hood. For a male: The strap fastener on a woman?s bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one?s self emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one?s partner. Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n. Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes ??look bigger.?? Male: what you slap when someone?s scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one?s girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.

Gift Recommendation

Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays.

Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.

- Jay Leno

christmas time

wow! its been so long since i updated this blog.

my usual posts have been on the other blog, the internship one, as what keeps me busy is the stuff in the hospital.

this christmas was the best i have celebrated in a long time. its lovely to have found best friends in karishma and yuvraj, and the time we spend with nitesh, zoheb, rajat, tushar and ken is awesome anyway. sometimes sambhav gives us the pleasure of his company too :P

but still, we guys r practically a new grp hanging out all the time > me, zoheb, nitesh, yuvraj and karishma.

its sooooo fun man!

this christmas day i was in the surgery OPD going around as santa :P with the hat on... taking pics with teachers and friends. everyone was in a cheerful mood, so it was awesome!

check out the pics on this link : christmas pics

Botox Benefits

Botox makers have announced that Botox can also be used to tighten sagging breasts.

The only problem is, your breasts always look surprised.

- Jimmy Fallon

Waffle Shortage

Breakfast experts are predicting a waffle shortage in the year 2010 after a flood damaged the Eggo factory.

See now, if President Bush were still in charge, we'd just invade Belgium and take their waffles, but we can't do that anymore, and now we're going to have to suffer.

- Jimmy Kimmel

The good, the bad and the ugly

Good: You’re pregnant. Bad: It’s triplets. Ugly: Your husband had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: Your husband is not talking to you. Bad: He wants a divorce. Ugly: He’s a lawyer.

Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there. Ugly: You’re in them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He’s a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you.

Good: You give "the birds and the bees" talk to your 14-year-old daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections.

Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!

Hospital Charts

Actual writings on hospital charts:

- she has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

- On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

- The patient refused autopsy.

- The patient has no previous history of suicides.

- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- The skin was moist and dry.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

- Skin: somewhat pale but present.

- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

US doctors earnings

The median earned by selected doctors in the USA in 2008, by specialty:

Specialty	Median income
Geriatrics	$179,344
Family medicine	$190,182
Pediatrics & adolescent	$193,964
Internal medicine	$199,886
Urgent care	$200,904
Sports medicine	$205,026
Psychiatry	$206,431
Orthopedic-medical	$209,000
Infectious disease	$220,601
Pediatric intensive care	$228,434
Neurology	$229,119
Allergy and immunology	$233,894
Gynecology	$234,197
Emergency care	$256,879
Pulmonary disease	$267,148
Gynecology & obstetrics	$283,110
Hematology & medical oncology	$301,809
Ophthalmology	$305,301
General surgery	$337,595
Dermatology	$344,847
Trauma surgery	$352,339
Anesthesiology	$352,959
Radiation therapy	$395,166
Transplant surgery, liver	$415,428
Orthopedic surgery	$450,000
Cardiac & thoracic surgery	$497,307
Orthopedic surgery, joint replacement	$520,000
Neurological surgery	$581,258
Orthopedic surgery, spine	$611,670

Source: Cejka Search

horse riding antics

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=8915323&l=2050b015d6&id=877265182

job vs wife

What's the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years your job will still suck.

Dinner Pick

President Obama was asked yesterday, if he could have dinner with anyone in history, who would he pick. Obama said he would pick Gandhi.

Good answer ... he'd get to eat two entrees.

- Conan O'Brien

residency

Did you know that Antarctica is the only continent with no permanent residents?

Everyone just stays for a few months and moves on ... kind of like Jennifer Aniston's bedroom.

- Craig Ferguson